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Twenty-five percent of baby boomer now have a senior parent living with them, and almost a third of American workers care for their parents. But what is rarely talked about is the fact that boomer elder care responsibilities almost always fall to the daughters.

The Daughter Trap: Eldercare Solutions Book Review

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Eldercare Book Focusing Specifically on Woman

Taking Care of Mom And Dad

I’d like to let you know about the recently published, first elder-care book to focus specifically on women. The Daughter Trap by author Laurel Kennedy is the first book to tackle the subject matter directly.

As our parents age, we are forced to make some tough choices regarding their living arrangements.  Not all options fit our requirements, our lifestyle, our parent’s need, or our financial ability to pay for the arrangements.  If you decide, for now, that the best arrangement is for your mother or father to come live in your home, then you’ve got another thing to think about – making your house a safe place for him or her.

Twenty-five percent of Baby Boomers now have a senior parent living with them, and almost a third of American workers care for their parents.  But what is rarely talked about is the fact that Boomer elder care responsibilities almost always fall to the daughters, who are also caught between the competing demands of a working spouse, school-aged kids and a full-time career.

Many adult children are thrown into the situation of care giving because of a medical health crisis of a loved one, essentially altering the family dynamics.  While multi-generational families were commonplace a generation ago, our society has become more global, and such is not the case now.

My late mother-in-law chose to live with my husband’s sister, and our family recognized first-hand the responsibilities of having an aging parent move in.

Longevity runs in my family and my own grandmother lived to be 101.  Although independent until age 95, I became her court-appointed conservator, responsible for her personal and medical decisions – all while working full-time and raising a young family.  My brother lived out-of-state.

Laurel Kennedy is a nationally recognized expert on Boomer issues, and is the founder of the Boomer consulting firm Age Lessons.

Kennedy defines the “daughter trap” as:

Daughters get trapped into taking care of their parents for two reasons – everyone assumes they will, and women go along with it.  We believe elder care is a daughter’s option, not an obligation.

The author answers such questions as:

  • Who does the daughter trap effect?
  • Why should anyone care?
  • Legal responsibilities of adult children caring for parents
  • What is the personal toll of elder care
  • What role do men play in caring for aging parents

The book speaks throughout in the voice of women caught in the daughter trap who share their experiences in hope of helping others.

The book covers four areas:

1] what the women wished they knew before getting into it
2] what they learned by doing it and want to share
3] the price paid because of it
4] future developments to help the next wave of caregivers

Drawing on years of original research as well as interviews with over 200 care-giving women, The Daughter Trap not only identifies the problem but also provides concrete and actionable solutions with takeaway lessons readers can apply to their own lives.

Mother’s Day is coming up – whether for your own benefit, or for someone you care about, put this book on your “reading list.”

Available at: Amazon

ISBN: 03-312-38510-1
Author: Laurel Kennedy
Thomas Dunne Books
Pages: 320
MSRP: $25.99

Moomette’s Magnificents is hosting a Giveaway Contest! For a chance to win, there will be one (1) winner of the book, The Daughter Trap.

Please include a way of contacting you. Should you be the contest winner, this information may be shared with the contest sponsor in order to send your prize.

Main Rule:   (remember if this rule is not followed then no others will count)
a) Sign up for my free Newsletter Updates to my blog through my e-mail Feedblitz link (on the top of my right column or let me know if you already are, in a separate comment) AND

b) Let me know why you’d like to win this book, and how it would help you or someone you know dealing with elderly parents.

This contest will run until May 5, 2010 at 11:00 pm. EDT

For Additional Entries, check out my Contest Entry Rules.

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About Cindi Moomettes

New England blogger and influencer from Connecticut and author of the multi-generational Moomettes Magnificents where she writes about Family, Grandparents and Grandchildren, home decor, Crochet, Knitting, DIY, crafts, family travel familiarization trips (FAMs), photography, social media and reviews. You can also find her at Moomettes Crochet Shop for the latest Handmade Fashion trends, Home Decor, Handmade Crochet Wash Cloths & Accessories. For food and recipes visit at her blog Frugal New England Kitchen ***Products and/or companies featured on Moomettes Magnificents may have provided product samples and/or compensation for consideration. All opinions are my own. Posts may contain affiliate links. See also Disclosure***

8 comments

  1. For the last 12 years of my mothers life.. I was the caregiver, only I did not think of myself as that.. I was happy to help and care for my mom… and I lost part of myself when she died… I too had a full time business, children, a husband who was not too happy about this,, and my siblings all lived elsewhere only to send a check to mom once in a while.. Although it was hard on me and my family, I would do it again…
    Now I’m finding my daughter starting to do the same for me.. I’d love to give this book to her… She is a great daughter!

    Sandy

  2. I am an email subscriber and I would like to win this because I work at an assisted living facility and I already know there are alot of things that you need to know before the time comes to have to make decisions.

  3. I am an e-mail subscriber. I would like to win this book because my parents are both ill. Even though they are only in their 60’s, I am considering caring for them in the future.

  4. I follow on twitter as frugalmomto4.

  5. Hello, Cindi: I am already signed up for your newsletters, which I read and learn from.
    I would be very interested in reading this book to help my blog readers. Many people are interested (as you can see) in this subject which affects everyone with aging parents. It’s an ‘eye opener’ regarding the fact that it is usually a daughter that takes on their parent’s care. I have a friend who splits that responsibility with her sister (6 months with mom at each home).
    I found an important issue to be the immediate health of the caretaker; spiritually, mentally and physically. Even a hosptial has ‘shifts’ to care for patients around the clock. Amazing that we think we can care for parents around the clock, no relief, with no harm to ourselves!
    .-= Look at what Donna Perugini hopes you’ll read: …"I’m in Charge of My Own Dirt" =-.

  6. CLOSED
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    Timestamp: 2010-05-09 01:40:49 UTC
    .-= Look at what Moomette hopes you’ll read: …Frecklebox Personalized Childrens Placemats Review and Giveaway =-.

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